I know I'll see you again...

Lately I've been missing Leo, for no particular reason. I wonder if he ever misses me. I hope so but I'm not totally sure.

He randomly started gchatting with me the other night, which we do every few months. Nothing earth shattering, just checking up on life. He'll graduate this year and then has no idea where he'll be. Part of me thinks he'll come back to DC and part of me thinks he'll stay in MI.

I just wonder if I'll feel about someone else how I felt about him. We had such a rocky relationship and it totally sucked while we were in it, and I didn't understand how much I cared about him at the time. Sure I was IN LOVE with him, but I didn't realize how much I truly LOVED him.

And I still think we're soulmates. Even when we talk either in person or on the phone just about superficial things I still feel something (on gchat I don't feel anything... I'm bad with online communication).

I wish I would have tried harder to get back together with him last year at school. Now I know we'll never be "together" again, but I know our paths will cross.

I wish there were clearer answers to life. Sigh. I just hate thinking about him and wish I could erase all memory.


PS: CT contacted me this weekend- ugh. He still thinks I want to see him. Barf.

Title inspired by Incubus. Quite possibly my favorite song of all time.

Dreamy

Why are all of the guys that I can see myself dating are taken? I'm picky.... not in looks per se but chemistry. I'm just bored if it's not electric. And with the consultant at work- it is electric. He's good looking, not hot, but definitely attractive. He's nice. Good with kids. Good at what he does. Also from Michigan. Kinda dorky and awkward but still keeps it cool.

And married. Sigh. Staying away from that with a 30 foot pole.

Anyways, mom went to her first AA meeting tonight and called me right after. I'm happy that she's being open with me. I feel like alcoholism is such a secretive thing, so I think being open will help. She sounded really excited and said she met a bunch of very nice and supportive people, got phone numbers, and is already going to another meeting on Wednesday. I'm proud of her and she says this time it's changing forever. I want to believe her so badly. I do believe her. I just don't want to get my heart broken.

-Suz

PS: Tonight I made the chili mac that Lacey posted in her blog yesterday... and oh mah gaw. Go to the store and buy the ingredients and make... IMMEDIATELY.